Tonight I decided to renew my war on sleep. Recently it's been brought to my attention that I have been sleeping way too much. I'm also finding that the more sleep I get, the more sleep I need. That's why I've decided to pick up the cause I let die after I graduated college and stay up to greet the AM with a droopy-eyed yawn. More than ever I find myself giving into laziness and sloth. At times it feels as if there is a heavy black cloud of energy which swirls about my psyche. Perhaps a form of motivational inertia?
Participating in the midterm elections really helped me recharge my batteries a little. It wasn't just the warm fuzzy for feeling like I've done my civic duty, it was also the idea that I am a part of something, even if my part is ever so small. For a while, I felt as if I was spinning my wheels in mud. The harder a tried to get out, the more I regressed and the deeper the problem became I needed traction, something which seemed like progress, even if it wasn't really in pursuit of any broad or heroic end goal.
I've never been a big fan of pragmatism. Breaking life down and sectioning it off via a secularist attitude is alien to an empathetic, aesthetic, spiritualist. Just look at the artist line-up I've been listening too lately: Muse, Crash Test Dummies, and Radiohead. I think the answer for now is in taking things a small step of a time. Restart my original plan to jog in the morning. Dust off the blog and maybe make a few entries. Figure out what's going on with my finances and who I owe or owes me money. But mostly, remember that life is not about milestones and trophies (nice as they may be), it is about living.
The sun sets, leaving a sea of red outside my apartment.
Posted at 11:46 pm by Codepainter